I'll never tell

Honest.

Doctors, lawyers, teachers and clergy people all adhere to various oaths of confidentiality to protect the personal information and details about their patients, clients, students and parishioners. Comedians do nothing of the sort. If you tell a comedian something, there’s a realistic chance it ends up in their show.

I think most people are probably aware that telling a comedian anything comes with certain risks. And yet, even after 36 years, I still can’t believe some of the things people tell me after a show. Where I just got done talking out loud, in public, about other people. Sure, there’s almost always alcohol involved so by the time the show’s over, their ability to self-censor is practically non-existent. Plus, they just watched 2 or 3 comedians whose material can sometimes appear to be more confessional that it probably really is, due to the fact that comedians have been known to occasionally embellish. No matter how believable it may be, I can assure you that Jim Gaffigan did not have a Hot Pocket for dinner right before his show.